Hostel days are always remembered no matter whether they were good or bad and I believe they always feel good because they were bad. It's sheer nostalgia that works here. In my engineering, inspite of being in the same city as college, I preferred staying in Hostel for the pure freedom of the concept. I mean it's a place where none keeps a tab on you and you can memorise all the rules to break them at your convenience. Ours was also one such 'terrific' hostel with people from various places. The worst thing about any hostel is widely believed to be the food as it never tastes good no matter who cooks it and how. The common factor that connects all hostel foods is blandness I guess.
So when Wahid Bhai invited us to his house for dinner the very concept of invitation was applauded. Abid, Amit, Sachin, Shafi and I were to go and Shafi was this 'prodigal fella' who believed in being generous. He brought 2 pepsi bottles(1.5 litre each) to be carried along for the invite. At 930 PM, we were at Wahid Bhai's house. Was it a house? I guess it was one large room partitioned into two. Bhai was working as a Salesman in some Car Showroom and was hence the 'working class' amongst us. He dropped often at our hostel and hence the association with him. There wasnt any door bell at his house and we dint need any as the door was open.
"Arey welcome !!' said a gleaming Wahid with a smile and we all were ushered in.
The moment I stepped in I picked a weird smell, I mean the kind that comes in Soya bean oil. I dont know why some people's houses smell that because it's kinda weird. Anyways, we cozied ourselves on cots and chairs as my mind wandered ' what possibly may be on the Menu??' !!
'Oh Pepsi, why did you people get it.. I mean students' inquired Wahid as Shafi tried being comfortable with that with his Oks.
Wahid probably had never seen high-school. But he was sharp and smart, atleast thats what he thought about himself. He used to give us a lot of 'fundas' about surviving in this mean world, thats what he used to call it. But I liked the way he talked, it had a charisma and a confidence. I mean, he had that ability to sell sand even in the desert.
'I just need another 10 minutes before we begin dinner.. sorry' smiled Wahid Bhai.
I dint like his house, I mean the way it was. If the soya smell had already killed my appetite, the stinginess of the place was invoking my displeasure for him. But he had been a nice host in inviting so I allowed my mind to drift onto something good. Abid was a dapper among us, neat and tidy and combing his hair every minute with his finger-comb, he thought he was different from others. I feel everyone is different from others and I don't understand why some people attach this self-conceived notion. Anyways, Abid also had a very irritating habit, even while speaking Hindi he used to use 'because' as a conjunction. I mean why shud u use it to join two Hindi sentences?? Doesn it stand out. I used to forget his both sentences and get focussed on his 'becuz', the way he said it in British accent. But he was a nice guy and I think I liked him for being a dapper.
The cooker whistle interrupted my ever wandering mind onto Amit. ' I din get the reason for this invitation.. Wahid Bhai.. I mean..' said Amit. Amit was this amazing guy who always questioned. He was sometimes called Socrates. Nobody questioned him as to why he questions this much.
' Err.. Just like that.. U see.. this is the first time I'm calling you guys to my house so I thought we should dine together' replied Wahid. I was really not interested in any of this as my mood was'nt good then. This mood is also hysterical you see, you just cant predict its behaviour graph, what it will be when and the worst part is you need to have a good mood to predict your mood correctly. It's a perfect Catch-22 here.
Then it was chatter that was happening and while some of it was normal and perforce the rest was more of a 'show-off' thing. Abid was all over it with his ' Thats not important !!' riposte for every argument. He was used to that as a budding lawyer. You tend to get caught in such situations when you find people hijacking them with their knowledge and it's like you are redundant. You cant say anything and can't listen to what they say because it's like you just can't digest it,lest assimilation, partly because you won't be sure whether it's true and mainly because it is being said by someone you don't really like. Shafi was that kinda guy, I mean I liked him but he had this habit of punctuating everything. You say Mt. Everest is 8848 metres in height and he will interrupt you ' Naw.. actually itz 8847 !!!'. Now WTF. You can't do anything about such guys. He once told me it cost 73 paise to produce one 300ml pepsi !! Wonder where he gets these super-secrets facts. I always wondered.
Whistle number 17( probably) brought me back from Shafi's Avatar-esque world and I was wondering which bird is so brittle that it is whistling so much in the cooker. I glanced at the wall clock in Wahid Bhai's house and it was a cheap 50 dough thing where you find the maker's name as CLIMAX or TYTAN. The class was maroon coloured with gold plated hands as the second hand was stationary at 4. Now, why do people try to fox us always? I mean.. they can just print it as TIMEX or TITAN and yet no company has time to sue them. Creativity with names.. uh?? Yeah, the time was 10:10 and I saw a little hunger on everyone's face.
'Ok brothers !!' exclaimed Wahid, as if he was settling an argument, 'Les have dinner'.
'Shall we sit here or in kitchen??', the ever inquisitive Amit.
I almost forgot to tell you about Sachin. We use to call him 'spokesperson' because he never spoke. Literally I mean it. I never understood why he never spoke or why he spoke so little. I have been a complete failure here as I have no clue.
Wahid laid a mattress, plastic one. I always believed mattresses were good but since the advent of plastic, the world is really changing. I don't like these plastic mattresses at all. Not a bit. I swear !!!
Wahid and Shafi brought 6 steel plates from the kitchen. The plates were very thin and I pressed one's bottom to bring the 'dung' sound as the base shoots up and Voila !!! It happened. I should'nt have done that anyways but Wahid dint hear it I guess.
When Wahid brought a hot-pan ( Chapatis I guessed), a Kadhai ( I tried guessing but could'nt arrive), Pepsi, and the steaming cooker, all was set for a dinner bash.
Wahid was being a perfect host, trying to do all these minute things with intricate precision. When everyone settled around the food, he opened the cooker to reveal boiled water and everyone there was like ' WTF'.
The peaking hunger had made defunct everyone's grey cells. It was the eyes that were talking, narrowing every second, with confusion and utter haplessness. Whats happening here, I thought.
Wahid Bhai gave us that derisive smile, that mocking bird kinda brooding smile. He said ' Guys, look at the clock', it was 10:20 but still not one clue.
'Guys, its still one and half our for 2nd of this month !!!'
'That means Guys, Its still April Fool !!!!'
